Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
