she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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