he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
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