sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
