only if we run a train.
done.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
