when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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