I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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