I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
