can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
