You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
