Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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