I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
If its not for food we ain't going out.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
