I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
