dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
