Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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