I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Randomize
