Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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