Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
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