That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Randomize
