I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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