Banned from zoo.
Again?
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
