shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
