i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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