We're like a lot better than the average bears
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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