Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
