strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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