i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
