can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
The Olympian is in my bed
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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