i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
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