I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
