Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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