So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
