i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
