worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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