I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
