Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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