I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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