i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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