OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
