I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Randomize
