Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
