someone threw a dead crab at me
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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