I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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