No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
