Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
