Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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