? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
