Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
