I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
