so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
